there are things that I would change and things that i wouldn't. i can't fully regret everything, even the bad stuff, because it brought me here, and here has potential. i hate that i hurt people. i hate that i hurt myself. i hate that i burned bridges. i hate that i failed at being in a family and a community.
back to here and it's potential: im independent now. i know that i've been mentally independent for a long time, but now i'm independent in every sense of the word. i take care of me financially (scary) and emotionally (if you could call what i'm doing 'taking care').
i make choices and they don't really affect anyone but myself. i don't know if this is healthy, but it is liberating. when i do stupid stuff i don't feel like i'm failing the world and everyone I care about, just myself, and i'm pretty quick to give out second chances to myself.
there's a significant chance that I will lose myself here, but there's also a chance that I will find myself...it's a sink or swim thing.
alone in toccoa is a lot like new york, if I can make it here, i'm fairly certain that I can make it anywhere.